I am wide awake again and roosters are crying outside. Yesterday morning began similarly except by this time, I was taking off with my motorcycle driver to catch the sunrise. The air smelled earthy and green. I felt so peaceful. And then I was there in time to catch the sunrise at Angkor Wat. There weren't very many people there yet and I felt so small in the way that makes me realize how big the world is. I took several photos but I think the one of the left turned out really well but photographs are not enough.

I saw Korean tourists heading to the ruins in bus-loads wearing matching t-shirt like scared and excited kindergarten children, wearing Cambodian souvenir hats, and taking photos of everything. I overheard a British couple ask their guide what the Cambodians thought about Koreans and they kept questioning why Koreans came with travel agencies in big groups. What seems absurd to this couple is normal in Korea; Koreans love traveling with the security of a big group, a knowledgeable and entertaining guide, and the simplicity of knowing that the guide will take them to the most important sights and nice places. Well, my mom who is wise and blunt have told me that Koreans take these tours just for that one photograph to show off to their friends. I think it's along the same lines as the reason why all the wealthy Cambodians buy luxury cars like Lexus in a busy city where cars are not suitable and put a large tacky sticker along the side of the car that simply reads "Lexus." Someone told me that it was trendy for young Thais to wear braces because it's expensive. Maybe all of this reflects some sort of westernized consumerist culture which to the contrary, seems strange to the western world.

Well, it's weird to even relate to Korean tourists because not even they seem to realize I'm Korean. Maybe it's because I travel alone. The Cambodians still seem to think I am fascinating and different. I'm getting used to the constant staring but I am still not used to people telling me I am beautiful all the time. I don't know if it's because I'm slightly different or if they actually think that. Maybe all of this will help me battle my poor self-esteem/image..

Overall, I think it's been beneficial to be a young, small Asian American woman traveling alone. People open themselves up more because I am not intimidating and everyone seems interested in telling me more about their culture.

My Khmer motorcycle driver Nureak invited me to a celebration party at his friend's village in the countryside which was really amazing. There was a ton of people, Khmer karaoke, big pots of rice porridge, and platters of strange tropical fruits. Everyone was so nice and the food was delicious! It's so striking that there are these small impoverished farming communities living next to these ancient ruins and these people remain impoverished even with all the tourism..

At the end of the day, Nureak took me to a Khantha Bopha Children's Hospital and it really hit the nail. I think the reason I have felt so uncomfortable in Cambodia is because I felt guilty about just being there to sightsee. There is real and tangible poverty here and traveling itself is a luxury. I am thankful that Cambodians I have met have been bold enough to open my eyes to all this. As someone who wants to continually travel the world, I need to be aware. (P.S. because I think some of you might find this interesting..I think it's great that Dr Beato's hospitals in Cambodia are all mainly staffed with Cambodians with just one or two foreigners. This way, more people are more willing to go to the hospitals and trust their care. And it helps young Cambodians help their own people. This addresses a lot of the issues Fadiman and Freire talk about. I wish cultural studies was more about this than what I learn in college...)

It's strange what I am capable of doing JUST because I am here. I have started to help Nureak find an NGO that will give him funding and resources for a project he had in mind for a long time--to build a school for impoverished children in his village. I am going to see if the OSVS at W&M can help me figure out a plan or contact some NGOs here. Knowing my friends back home, I know so many young people would be enthusiastic about lending a hand in making this a reality.

I leave Cambodia tomorrow morning and I haven't yet decided where I will go next. Maybe Ho Chin Minh City but I hear it's absolutely crazy there with all the traffic and I am loving how peaceful Siem Reap is. I think Hanoi is less crazy and I will see Alice very very soon there. I am sure we'll be a strange pair traveling around and I hope we are good partners. My fingers are crossed!